A PayPig is a man (I think it’s usually always a man) who ‘gets off’ on the idea of a woman spending all his money. It’s a part of the whole BDSM world in a way I suppose, but instead of whips and chains to hurt someone physically – you hurt them financially.

So before we go on, this blog post is a little more NSFW than it would usually be. I’m going to censor anything at all vulgar – but there’s no getting around the fact there is a sexual tone to this.

Don’t worry – I behaved extemporarily! You won’t be looking at me differently by the end of this (assuming you think I’m some sort of angel in the first place).

What is a PayPig?

Listen, I’m pretty open-minded and don’t really care about what people get up to in their own time as long as it’s legal, doesn’t hurt anyone, and everyone involved is having a nice time.

I feel like a proper vicar’s wife saying that. Don’t know why. Basically – get your rocks off in any way you like – especially if I’m not involved!

I started noticing PayPigs in around 2016 and as the years go on, more and more seem to be cropping up.

I’m going to talk about one experience here – but I get propositioned on the regular. When it first happened, it was exciting but now as you’ll see – I just shut it down.

Ok – so let’s get technical. According to Urban Dictionary (well, I doubt it’s in the Oxford one), a Paypig is:

In the realm of BDSM, a Paypig is a submissive, almost always male, who has consented to financial servitude towards his Mistress. A term used in a derogatory/humiliating light, usually by a Mistresses.

The person receiving the money (ahem, me?) is called the findomme – as in dominatrix.

Now, this really isn’t my thing. I don’t have a lot of patience for weird men in general and had no real intention of taking any money from him. But, being a consumer journalist, thought I’d play along and maybe sell my story to a magazine or something – but decided against it in the end.

So – Whatsapp’d the messages from the Paypig to my mates and they told me what to say because I’m a wimp and my mates can be absolute filth!

This was in 2016 by the way, so I had just bought a flat that was falling down (urgh – those owners), so the money would have been nice – but as you’ll see, it wasn’t all fun and games.

How to find a PayPig?

Frustratingly, I’ve searched all my Twitter DMs to find the exchange, but the PayPig has deleted his account since 2016 – so am only left with the screenshots I was sending to my friends.

I’m not going to put them all here in public – but got the receipts as the kids say if you don’t believe me!

But long story short, the PayPig got in touch with me on Twitter, introduced himself t and offered to put money into my account. I believe it was £3,000.

Now, that would temp most people. Me being me, I was worried it was a scam more than anything else and I have a habit of playing along with scammers to see where it takes me – so played along for a few days.

So tell me in the comments or on Twitter (@lottyburns), would you hand over your PayPal or bank details to a complete stranger and let them put £3,000 in your account?

Anyway, if you’re after a PayPig, and want to dip your toes into this world, you’ll find there are plenty of social media these days, looking for mistresses. Use the hashtag #PayPig on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and SnapChat, but also there are websites out there too.

It’s really not my area of expertise, but with anything, do some Googling, and be careful about handing over too many details about yourself. Keep safe.

What does a PayPig want?

I know you’re a money expert Mistress but I would gratefully hand over my finances and let you ruin my credit score to help yours.

Well, there you go. This is what this want wanted from me anyway. He wanted me to spend his money and ruin his credit score for him.

He asked me to go online and look at things I could buy with his money and let him know what to buy. I’m assuming he was thinking something like sexy boots, but I did have my eye on some nice curtains for my new flat!

Here’s where it’s a little bit weird. He asked if he could meet me in Tooting and we’d go on a shopping spree.

1. Tooting is where I live(ish). So he had done a little research into where I live. I don’t know – it’s not like I keep it secret, but it did make it clear to me that I should be more careful about what I say online.
2. Tooting? Have you seen the shops here? There’s a butcher, a few second-hand shops and a Primark. If, and it’s a big if – IF I was going to meet a man from the internet to do some weird BDSM shopping thing in public, it wouldn’t be in bloody Tooting. It would be in Chelsea, because I’m classy.

What will a PayPig want from you?

The Paypig never asked for pictures from me, anything that particularly made me feel uncomfortable. Well, I suppose he did ask me to go shopping with him. I quite cruelly asked him if he was taking the mick.

He replied (and I felt awful – which is why I’d be an awful dominatrix!)

Oh god sorry Mistress. Sorry for being stupid, Miss.

I did find he/they wanted a lot of attention. To keep you hanging a bit, which is so not something I’ll put up with. But if it’s something you’d be up for – knock yourself out.

I suppose if I had gone ahead, the Paypig would ask you for payment details of some kind. If I were you, I’d keep it simple and safe(ish) and use Paypal.

Why I didn’t do it

I know some of you are going to think I’m really lame. I was offered £3k. I was offered online and real life shopping sprees. I was certainly pretty skint then too.

Let me tell you the *real* reason why.

1. Would be pretty bad if it came out that a ‘consumer champion’ helped a man ruin his credit rating when I spend my days trying to do the opposite.
2. It’s the whole credit rating thing.

When I picture a Paypig and a femmeDom, I picture a rich man who is throwing their money at beautiful young women.

That is quite attractive to me. It’s a bit Fifty Shades of Grey. Who doesn’t want to play with a billionaire’s credit card?

But I had an inkling. Just this feeling I couldn’t shake. He just had to be absolutely skint if this is what ‘gets him off’.

So I told the Paypig that I didn’t believe he had a good credit score anyway and was in no position to give me money.

He said:

Not gonna lie Mistress, your right there. I have been into findom for way to long to have a good credit score. I’ve never actually checked it bt thinking of having a look on Experian.’

AND YES, AND IN SOME WEIRD BDSM SCENARIO I WAS IN, I BLOODY DID GIVE HIM SOME MONEY ADVICE! WHY AM I ME?!

So yeah, I felt really sad about it and it stopped being funny quickly.

Then he suggested:

We could do it on payday where my paycheque is fresh and untouched for you Mistress. And I’ll be left to live on the scraps you eave for me till the next payday Mistress.

It stopped being funny

And that’s the thing. Getting into debt and having your credit score can ruin your life. You’d be amazed by the number of people with debt problems who get in contact saying the stress of it all is making them want to end their life.

And any sexual exchange, BDSM or vanilla, is supposed to be fun and safe – right? (Or maybe I’m a prude?). Whips and chains are a temporary pain – it doesn’t ruin you.

So after realising the situation I just stopped replying. I felt sorry for him. I’m sure he found someone else to take his money. I just couldn’t do it.

That said, if there is a handsome billionaire out there like Christian Grey – I’d give spending your money a shot if you want to get in touch!

Did you know I have written a book? It’s called On The Money

If you’re a PayPig who has stumbled his way onto my site – I demand you buy it, and one for all your friends!

I joke, but to be honest – it would probably help you out. It’s a step-by-step guide to get you to where you want to financially be.

I promise it’s not boring or full of stupid gimmicks. You can get it at all good book shops – but On The Money is cheapest at Amazon.

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• Weird way to make money